6.13.2004

No Rest for the Weary

Alas, I have returned to the homefront to find that I am missed. What an incredible thing-to be missed. It lets you know that you are loved and cared about. Trevor took care of Kya and had a pretty rough weekend. I feel for him. It is a daunting task to be the primary caregiver of a baby 24/7. But, from where I stand he did a wonderful job. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to their special "Daddy and Kya" moments.

I come back from the retreat refreshed and yet emotionally drained, not ready for the coming week. I am aware of how inadequate I am as a wife and mother and how I long to get out of the "funk" I am in. I can't seem to shake this "thing" that hangs over me. Is it baby blues? Is it Post Partum Depression? Is it Anxiety? I have a new perspective on my role in my family and yet I still feel so insecure in my heart. Where does that come from? The pit of hell, I suppose. God never wants us to feel insecure. I am reminded that God wants only good things for us. I pray that I am able to grasp what God wants me to take away from this whole time in my life.

On a little lighter note, Kya's audition went wonderful!!!! She shined like the bright light she is. We will hear this week if we get a call back to another audition. Pray for us!!!

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