Getting Real With Your Man

(Coach, circa two weeks ago)

Sometimes it's hard to relate to our husbands after a long day of washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning up potty accidents, or (fill in the blank). Sometimes, and I am speaking from experience here, it's hard to pull our selves out of "mommy mode" even for a moment, and take some time to get to know (even if you think you already do) our men. You can know a lot about someone and never truly know them. But knowing someone, truly knowing them leads to a whole host of benefits in a relationship. Trust, empathy, love, caring, compassion, gentleness, kindness, respect....these all come a little easier when we know our mate.

I'll be honest and be the first one to admit that it's hard to put down that proverbial dishtowel and really invest 100% of me into getting to know Coach on a deeper level. He's busy. I'm busy. Most of the time we both only have a certain amount of hours in a day to get our stuff done before tomorrow comes. But, I know it;s not what God wants for me. He wants, and I do too, for me to continue to grow in my marriage relationship and honor Him in the process.

So...how to connect with your husband.....

Here's what has been a great tool for Coach and I, and while we don't always remember to do it, when we do, it connects us 100% of the time:

We call it "Sad-Mad-Glad" time.

Our time together consists of sharing with one another one thing that day that made us sad, one thing that made us mad, and lastly, one thing that made us glad. We take turns back and forth, fully engaged in what the other is saying (really listening, not just hearing) and talking it out. We get real and share the good stuff and the bad stuff. We end our time by praying and committing the things we've talked about over to the Lord.

If you are struggling to make time for your man (or even if things are going well), I encourage you to try this and see where it takes you. Hopefully, you will get to know your mate a little more each day!


  1. Thanks for the reminder of a much needed time with the hubby. You are so right about oftentimes we can't get out of "mommy mode" to spend one on one time together talking and concentrating on each other. I'm excited to try this with my husband...I think it will get some great results.

  2. thanks this is a great idea for connecting with your husband. After spending the days with littles it is hard to come up with ideas that don't involve the kids (only).

  3. That's probably the best marital advice I've heard in a long time. No Oprah, no Woman's Day pop-psychologist of the week, just good, honest talking to your spouse. Bravo!

    Maybe you'll get your own talk show like that "He's Just Not That Into You" comedian guy!

  4. Thank you for posting this. I really needed to hear it. My husband and I are so busy as a youth ministers and parents and often don't have time for one another by ourselves. I think we will try your cute game and I pray it will bless our lives and others. Thanks again.

  5. Thanks for the reminders and encouragement. It's so hard sometimes; especially with kids. We went to this marriage conference a few weeks ago and haven't really "implemented" any of the tools (etc) yet. It's so easy not to attempt it. BUT, how encouraging to know God has more for our marriages and desires for us to be more!

  6. That is a great goal. A great idea and I think I am going to try to remember to take the time every day.

  7. I love this post! Sad-Mad-Glad is a great idea. It's almost like an ice breaker, lol! Sometimes, my husband and I are so tired we don't event know what to talk about. This is so much better than the typical, "how was your day?" Thanks for sharing. BTW, if you are interested I just picked up His Needs, Her Needs for Parents. A good read, especially if you read His Needs, Her Needs.